When a Dairy Cow Ran For President

I Have Forward Vision

You cannot simply say one day that you would like to be president. The president of the United States is a powerful position, the leader of the free world, and to be in that position you must have vision.

Vision works in two ways: looking forward and looking back. Looking back on the last four years makes me believe our great land has lots of room for improvement. We’ve had hard times with many down on their luck with little faith in the future.

As a dairy cow I am proud of my milk as I know it to be nature’s most perfect food. One of milk’s most well-known attributes is the calcium it contains.  Calcium is critical for lifelong bone health! Bones are the foundation of our bodies. If you had brittle bones then you would have a hard time walking, climbing, and jumping. That’s exactly how I see our great nation is today with an economy that can barely stand or walk.

Just like milk builds stronger bones for our bodies’ foundation,  I believe that I can make a strong  foundation for our country. The downtrodden will then have the strength to lift themselves up like seeds of corn sprouting, digging through soil, and sending stalks toward the sky.

I believe America can stand proud in the sun again and I’m the only candidate with the dairy cow know how we need to get there!

(Original Flag Photo by Tim Wang)

There are many candidates for president you could choose. Why not pick the only one with dairy cow know how?

(original flag photo by Tim Wang)

I made the paper! Read the story from The Country Chronicle by Dairy Dave!

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The Country Chronicle 
10/15/2012

Dairy Dave’s Corner

Cow Runs For President?

It wouldn’t be the first time someone called me a Doubting Thomas, but seeing is believing! I’m talking about Shirley Cow, the dairy cow that is running for president with enough ideas to impress even me. I caught up with Shirley between campaign events to ask her a few questions that I knew you, dear reader, would want to know.

Me: Lay it to me straight Shirley, white milk or chocolate?

Shirley: Call me old fashioned because I love plain white milk, but chocolate has the same nutritional value.

Shirley Cow Hard at Work

Me: What makes you qualified to be president?

Shirley: What makes any American qualified? Hard work, honesty, and an uncompromising love of our great country.

Me: What will be the first thing you would do as president?

Shirley: I’ll call the leaders from the House and Senate to the White House for a ice cream sundae supper to solve their differences and get us moving forward.  If you can’t be happy and agreeable over ice cream then you never will!

Me: How will you address health care in your administration?

Shirley: The Farmer has always treated his “girls” well by providing good food and medical attention for both prevention and wellness. I’ve seen it, been a part of it, and I think I can make it work as a great example for the country.

Me: What will you do if you lose your bid for the presidency?

Shirley: I’ll go back to the farm and keep on producing high quality nutritious milk for all Americans!

After speaking to her, I can’t think of any time I was more fired up about the election. No mudslinging from Shirley, just the dairy facts. And I think that’s all we can ask from a candidate!

–Dairy Dave

You’ve heard the other candidates use numbers to make fun of each other and tell you who they represent. You’ve heard of the 1% and the 99%. All the talk about 47% of the voters etc, etc.

I will work for you!

If I become the first dairy cow president I will do what I always do and that is give 100% for 100% of the people. If you add those up I’m at 200% and that is more than what any other candidate will give!

While we’re talking numbers lets talk about the economy. I think what most people want is bang for their buck; they want more for less. Most folks might not realize that milk, just like the kind I’m proud to make, is packed with nutrients at a bargain price! For twenty five cents you can get an eight ounce glass with nine essential nutrients. Try to do that with other drinks!

That’s the way I think Washington should use your money. They should use a little bit and make it go a very long way toward the betterment of the citizens. When I become president that is exactly how I will run things: more for less! Early voting has begun and I would appreciate your support!

While our phone call polls are showing us with a good lead I thought it best to also do an internet poll to give everyone a chance to show their support.

Remember this is a scientific poll. In order for it to be completely accurate, you have to do one thing before selecting. Imagine yourself drinking a tall cool glass of chocolate milk. Then make your decision.

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Updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Original Flag Photo by Tim Wang)

It seems like it was only yesterday when I was a calf and got all dressed for our Halloween party in the calf barn. We even had pumpkin spice milk that evening!

In many ways, Halloween is a lot like the people running for president. They offer you treats and instead you get tricked. This is no different than the trick some people fall for when they purchase those non-dairy drinks that are still labeled as being milk. There’s no substitute that delivers all the nutrition as milk that can call itself milk. Or can taste like real American milk, just like mine.

If you want to guarantee you’re getting real American milk in your real dairy products or food then look for the Real Seal on the things you buy!

I can promise you that if you vote for my new awesome running mate Norma and I then you will not be tricked. We’re cows. We’re dairy cows. We’re Real American dairy cows and part of#TeamDairy, and we’d appreciate your vote.

Shirley and Norma For President!

Dairy Cows Campaign To Be President

The last few days have been a whirlwind of campaigning. Norma and I have been out spreading the good word about dairy and why we deserve your vote as cows for the presidency. Being on stage in front of thousands of people is kind of overwhelming.

Our great nation was made by average people with above average ideas and aspirations. They rose above their abilities, their strengths, overcame their weaknesses and made the best better. Ladies and gentleman, cows and bulls, I am an average cow, but like those that have come before me, I have above average ideas!

Speaking of the ones that have come before me, did you know how important dairy has been to U.S. Presidents? None other than the numero uno George Washington was known to love ice cream so much he spent $200 on it in one summer. Money talks and those bills are saying “love.” Thomas Jefferson learned to make ice cream while he was in France. Good ole Honest Abe Lincoln had ice cream served at his second inauguration. Milk was the favorite drink of Teddy Roosevelt. Let’s imagine Mount Rushmore…..

And I would also be the first dairy cow to, if I chose, graze on the White House lawn sincePresident Taft’s two dairy cows did. He loved milk. President’s love dairy. Americans love dairy. Norma and I would love your vote!

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Shirley & Norma Thank You For Your Support!

Well, the election is over and if you have not heard our campaign ended up with us coming up a few votes short. While we did not get everything we wanted, I think Norma and I can be proud of our effort to reach more people and tell them the value of dairy.

The country may not agree on the election’s outcome, but at least, we can all sleep well knowing the president and vice president enjoy some dairy for themselves from time to time!

Perhaps Alabama dairyman Will Gilmer said it best:

Team Dairy has been around far longer than this election cycle and will continue to be a force for good regardless of who we elect as President. Team Dairy: providing you and your children with safe, delicious, nutritious food choices for a “dairy good” today and a brighter, healthier tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I do have some bad news to report. Norma has taken ill the last few days. She and I are real cows and real things do happen to us. Here is a statement from her closest adviser, Dairy Carrie:

…my heart and mind is back home. When my plane landed I got news that Norma is very sick and may not make it.
I wish that all the people who think that dairy farmers don’t care about their cows could understand how absolutely heartbreaking this is for me, then maybe they would understand ….
If you wouldn’t mind taking a moment to say a prayer or send up good thoughts I sure would appreciate it. Norma may be just a cow but she is my cow and I love her.

My thoughts are with my friend Norma, who is not just #normathebestcowever, but also #normathebestrunningmateever !

Thank you again for all your support in our campaign!

——————————————-UPDATE!!!!!!!!

I have received news of Norma’s passing to the great pasture field in the sky. Let us not mourn her leaving us, but instead, celebrate her life and the love she had of producing high-quality milk for everyone. The next time you eat or drink dairy products raise your glass or bowl high as a small thanks to Norma!

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