Please allow me to introduce my new service: Farmer Bright’s Authentic Dirty Jeans. Send me your jeans, any size, and I’ll wear them to the barn and do every farm chore you can imagine, getting them dirty and smelly along the way. I’ll do the work so you don’t have to.
Why offer this service? Well, Nordstrom is offering dirty jeans for sale at a bargain price of $425.
If you send your jeans to me, I can provide a more authentic look and smell, for a mere $200. The base price includes cow manure. For additional charges I can add mud, grease, and oil. Custom tears and rips are also available. Unlike those from Nordstrom, your jeans will be customized just for you!
Trust me, I’m here to help. Especially if you have a problem with too much money in your wallet.
Update: I’m proud to announce that our legal department has told the marketing department that we can now extend this offer to shirts, jackets, and hats. For additional services do not hesitate to inquire our trained staff.
Farmer Bright 
Thanks, Ryan! I’ve got plenty of customized barn clothes myself!
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My wife says we’re sitting on a goldmine!
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I customize my jeans with second-hand manure for my garden, but I’m forwarding your offer to my horsey friends so they can start a similar service for the equine set. Who says American initiative is dead?
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Yes! I think the market is just huge. 😉
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And I thought those jeans with the holes in them were dumb. 🙄
But all us farm folk could be in luck finally!
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I reckon some folks will buy anything, and in this case I’d like to be the one selling!
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WOOOOOOOW, this is mind blowing… This has so many other great opportunities; real grease and oil from fixing up the car, real baby food and other baby fluids in shirts and towels, pre-dirty aprons for cooking in style… Farming is just the tip of the iceberg!!! 😉
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Don’t let my customers know they could get them somewhere else! I want them to think they’re getting the best, or should I say worst, dirty jeans from me. 😜
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