Thanksgiving Is For Moochers 

Thanksgiving is totally for moochers and there’s no denying it.  Let’s think about the big feast you’re about to attend.

Odds are you didn’t even help with preparing the meal. In fact it is probably a ten to one ratio of eaters to cooks. Sure mom, grandma, great grandma, and your aunt have been slaving away cooking and cleaning, but you’re just coming to prevent any accumulation of left overs. You moocher, you.

The pilgrims were some of the biggest moochers ever.

the_first_thanksgiving_cph-3g04961Jean Leon Gerome Ferris [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

New World moochers, to be exact. Far from being first class settlers, they had to lean heavily on the Native Americans to get by. And how are they remembered for their mooching accomplishments? Why they practically have their own holiday.

Speaking of that day, moochers had to be in charge of making Thanksgiving a holiday. “Christmas break is so great. We get time off from school and work and get to go to parties? We should do this in November, too.” And the rest was history! Thanksgiving is also some people’s last chance to tell friends and family what they’d like to be given for Christmas. Is it really a coincidence that Black Friday, where folks expect to get something for nearly nothing, follows this moocher holiday? I think not!

Still, the rest of us should give thanks. Thanks for:

  • Friends, who laugh at our jokes, good and bad
  • Family, who love us despite our failings
  • The freedoms we have and for those that ensure them
  • And let’s not forget the hard working farmers who provide the food

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, and try your best not to be that moocher! In other words, go help wash the dishes.


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