Please allow me to introduce my new service: Farmer Bright’s Authentic Dirty Jeans. Send me your jeans, any size, and I’ll wear them to the barn and do every farm chore you can imagine, getting them dirty and smelly along the way. I’ll do the work so you don’t have to.
Why offer this service? Well, Nordstrom is offering dirty jeans for sale at a bargain price of $425.
If you send your jeans to me, I can provide a more authentic look and smell, for a mere $200. The base price includes cow manure. For additional charges I can add mud, grease, and oil. Custom tears and rips are also available. Unlike those from Nordstrom, your jeans will be customized just for you!
Trust me, I’m here to help. Especially if you have a problem with too much money in your wallet.
Update: I’m proud to announce that our legal department has told the marketing department that we can now extend this offer to shirts, jackets, and hats. For additional services do not hesitate to inquire our trained staff.